Will the tutor who comes into the house to learn math formulas soon become obsolete?
Will the tutor who comes into the house to learn math formulas soon become obsolete?
Instead one could say: "I would be happy to have offspring" and: "I would like to understand why you choose not to have children". If, on the other hand, you repeatedly feel the disappointment about it, you put a strain on the family relationship.
It is wrong to put the children under pressure or to make them feel guilty because the grandparents’ dreams have now been shattered. "This is a decision that the parents do not make" Karl Foitzik also confirms. He is the chairman of the association "Grandparents create the future" in Nuremberg.
What is really behind the desire for grandchildren
Why the desire to become grandparents is so pronounced in many is evolutionary, explains the psychologist Horst Heidbrink, who researches social relationships at the Fern-Universität Hagen. "It is the more or less conscious desire that we pass on our genes." But: "We humans are not simply at the mercy of our evolutionary heritage." It helps to distance oneself from them and to be clear: We don’t have to pass on our genes ourselves – relatives, for example siblings and their children, can do this for us too.
But there is one more sore point: the wish that one’s own death is not over. If your own children don’t want offspring, "somehow the feeling arises: I have invested a lot in the children – and they don’t take it any further!" says Heidbrink.
Fulfilling moments as surrogate grandparents
Some also have to say goodbye to their vision of retirement when there are no grandchildren to look after. A new task is then missing. After all, entering retirement age means a serious change for many. Taking care of a grandchild gives structure to the day and brings a certain commitment to everyday life.
You are not dependent on the family planning of your own children for this. "I can maybe do with other children what I would have done with my own grandchildren" says Heidbrink. For example, by becoming a loan grandpa or grandma. To do this, you have to overcome the wish that it should be your own grandchildren. "It is not an easy one, but if it succeeds it is a sensible and lucky step" explains Lenz. "There are so many children in need of care."
Association mediated "Desired grandparents"
Karl Foitzik is in charge of the project "Desired grandparents" at the club "Grandparents create the future". There you bring young families into contact with seniors – "then you have to test yourself" he explains. Sometimes the chemistry doesn’t fit. All in all, however, Foitzik’s experiences have been positive: for three years the association has been mediating families and desired grandparents, and around 60 successful partnerships have already been established.
What the children do with their ideal grandparents is very different – from going to the cinema to taking a trip to a music class, everything is included. It is only important to clarify the expectations at the beginning. This also avoids the problem of taking on too much.
Maintain social contacts
Is it actually about grandchildren, or essentially about social contacts and a meaningful task in old age? "It is important to maintain social contacts and not get lonely" emphasizes Heidbrink. It doesn’t matter whether this happens as a substitute grandmother or, for example, when volunteering in the community.
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Students from Hartz IV families are entitled to receive permanent tuition from the job center. This was decided by the Social Court of Braunschweig in a judgment that has now been published (AZ .: S 17 AS 4125/12).
The judges approved of a 16-year-old who the job center no longer wanted to pay for English tuition after a year. The court ruled that part of a decent subsistence level is that the state basic security adequately covers the needs of a school child for learning support. The additional instruction should enable the plaintiff to receive the education he needs for his future career.
Court: The goal is not transfer, but educational level
In this specific case, the student indian order brides suffers from dyslexia and ADHD. The job center had refused permanent payment for the tutoring because the law did not provide for this and the boy’s transfer was not at risk.
The court countered this by stating that the essential learning goal was not only to move on to the next class, but also to achieve the required level of learning. In the opinion of the court, the plaintiff cannot work alone on the subject matter of the lesson that he did not understand or did not understand sufficiently. He needs help to do this. His parents or other relatives could not help him in this subject. With the tutoring, the offer of the school is meaningfully complemented. The job center appealed the judgment.
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If a child suddenly gets worse and worse at school, alarm bells go off among parents. Tutoring is quickly prescribed. But is that always necessary? An expert gives five tips.
1. Talk to everyone involved
If the child’s grades get worse, parents should speak to the child first, and then to the teacher. "He can often tell you exactly what the problem is" explains Maria Große Perdekamp. She is the head of online counseling for the Federal Conference for Educational Counseling. It is also best for parents to discuss with the child what they do not understand or where they feel overwhelmed.
2. Use the offers of the school
Tutoring makes sense above all if there are suddenly specific problems in individual subjects or the child has lost touch. It is then helpful to look for offers at the school. Remedial lessons may be offered there that are tailored to the learning content of the lesson.
3. Get to the bottom of the child’s worries
Tutoring makes no sense if, for example, private worries are the reason for the poor performance in school. "Especially during puberty – i.e. in the seventh to ninth grade – children are often busy with other things" says the expert. Then the young person’s sense of responsibility should be strengthened. Perhaps the cause of the personal worries can be eliminated. If a child has been struggling enormously in school for a long time and has problems in almost all important subjects, the family can consider changing schools together with the teachers.
4. Do not send the child to tutoring as a preventive measure
If a child is good at school, but is supposed to get better or just stay good, tutoring is probably the wrong way, says Große Perdekamp. "Because that’s actually signaling a problem." This can put the students under unnecessary pressure. Good students can manage to improve their grades on their own. Such a sense of achievement is an important experience for children and young people.
5. Instruct children to learn independently
Parents shouldn’t blame the child, ask what they think, and praise every step that is taken in the right direction. For most children it is important to be able to stay in their class community – that can be a motivation. Parents can do a problem analysis with the child and, for example, jointly purchase learning materials for home. Then children often get a different view of the content of the lesson. It is important that parents do not take too much away from them: from around the sixth grade onwards, the offspring should feel responsible for their school performance.
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Will the tutor who comes into the house to learn math formulas soon become obsolete? In the meantime there is also tutoring on the Internet. Tutoring portals promise to help students learn and offer a lot of content for monthly fees of around ten euros. But what good are they?
The start of a new school year is often associated with the resolution that the grades have to improve in the next year. Numerous fee-based tutoring portals on the Internet want to help. "The content of the platforms alone does not promise better grades" says Professor Roland Bader from the University of Applied Science and Art (HAWK) in Holzminden. Children could repeat tasks there without stress. "In this respect, they are to be seen as a useful addition to the deepening of the subject matter."
One of the most important factors in learning platforms is the clear presentation of the learning content, explains education expert Bader. "In the area of ??mathematics, this is particularly clear with the help of small explanatory videos."
Tutoring portals are not a panacea
The range of learning sites on the Internet is very diverse – but it cannot replace good teaching. "In no case should parents expect that all learning problems will magically resolve themselves" warns Bader. Younger children in particular need a lot of supervision while learning and have to develop a personal relationship with the subject matter.
Seven tutoring portals in comparison
For elementary school children there is the portal www.lernerstieg.de. Here you will find exercises for the subjects German, mathematics and English. The little vampire Freddy leads the children through the playful tasks with short learning units. The trial package for one month costs ten euros, with longer subscriptions the price drops. The packages include access for the child, in which all subjects are available, and parent access. Siblings pay half the monthly subscription.
www.sofatutor.com The website www.sofatutor.com relies on clear presentation of the learning material with explanatory videos. Here not only formulas and equations are explained in moving pictures, but also French grammar forms or relative pronouns in Latin. For direct questions, there is a live chat on weekday evenings – but only for customers who already have a subscription to Sofatutor. The prices for this are between 15 and 35 euros per month.
www.lerncoachies.de Behind www.lerncoachies.de is a tutoring portal from Cornelsen. Here you can find exercises and educational films on various English and mathematics books from the publishing house for North Rhine-Westphalia and grades four to seven. Pupils can use worksheets to test how well what they have learned is actually stored in their heads. The monthly prices depend on the length of the subscription and the chosen school subjects: If you only want to study English or mathematics, you pay 7.50 to 10 euros per month. For both subjects together, 12.50 to 18 euros are due.
www.scoyo.com The learning platform www.scoyo.com extends beyond elementary school to seventh grade. Exercises and learning units for math, German, English, biology, physics, chemistry and art are available for schoolchildren, which at least for the younger children are often packed into small games. The tasks were adapted to the curricula of the federal states and grade levels.